When I was 12, I realized the cocoon in which I lived, a cocoon built to be soft and secure, was not a reflection of the real world. I knew there was poverty, suffering, misery, and despair, but also beauty, greatness, spirituality, and joy. I wanted to feel and to experience the whole of what life had to offer. I left home at the age of eighteen convinced that only a transformation of the beingness of human being could finally allow us to create a world that would work for everyone. It was the year 1980 and I started my search.

 

In my twenties, I fell in love profoundly and I discovered all of life is a function of relationship. I learned that the stone is hard because our skin is soft, that noise requires an eardrum, that we cannot give away something unless someone takes it. Duality takes two, but it is really unity. But the early death of my husband, Murray, had me forget it all and ended up being one of my most meaningful lessons.  

 

By the age of 33, my suffering (I will spare you my dramas!) had me build a thick, tight shell around myself. My hardness was my protection. My coldness was a way of hiding my shyness. My entrenchment was my security. I knew all of it separated me from life and it needed to disappear.

 

The next decennia was about just that: I became a war refugee, a helicopter pilot, a teacher and a relief worker. I was shot at, shipwrecked and loved. I lived on a farm, a boat, a penthouse and an ashram in India. I studied religion, philosophy, Buddhism, brain science and the tango. Thanks to my participation in a transformational seminar, I finally did get free.

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I understood that there were no causes in reality and that mountains were mountains and rocks were rocks. I stopped being hypnotized by my automatic thoughts, I surrendered to not understanding and I let go of my wants.

My mind became calm.

 

For then on, I threw myself into a spiritual quest. My life has been exactly what I wanted. I have experienced the greatest happiness and the most profound despair until I reached the calm of wholeness.

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I am grateful for Life where everything is interconnected in an eternal game, with no purpose other than what is happening. I know I am the cloth of existence itself, and reality has become bewitching. Existence has become a celebration of consciousness. 

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I play the game of living in awareness instead of the game of surviving in fear, I trust Life and the Divine, and I am entirely dedicated to the creation of a new culture for humankind, a culture of awareness and consciousness. 

 

Whenever I falter, my family and friends surround me, ready to give support and I am clear that the joy I experience comes from serving Life.